You’re tired of feeling so alone in your marriage. You’ve somehow drifted apart over the years, and the space between you is now filled with hurt and resentment. You want to stay married, but you also don’t want to live this way anymore.
I’m sure you’re asking, “With all that has happened between us, is it possible for us to be happy again?” The answer is, “Yes!”
I understand your skepticism. The problems in your marriage seem unsolvable. Maybe you and your spouse have turned into roommates and sex has become infrequent, as work and kids have taken time, attention, and energy away from your marriage. Maybe you and your spouse fight over-and-over about finances, sex, parenting, and each other’s family. Or maybe an affair has been discovered and you both are reeling from the aftermath.
I help clients create fulfilling marriages. I don’t do this by passively nodding my head and being a “good listener”. Instead, I do some detective work to uncover and point out issues I see that have caused the marriage to get off-track. Then, we talk about concrete strategies to deal with the problems, such as specific communication skills or strategies for managing personality differences. When an affair has occurred, I give practical tools and strategies to each spouse so they can work through the affair in a way that actually strengthens the marriage.
It can be especially difficult for husbands to begin marriage counseling. Often they fear the therapist and his wife will gang up on him in the sessions. Other times, husbands fear having discussions about thoughts and emotions because they wrongly believe they are incompetent to discuss their thoughts and emotions. As a male, marriage counselor, and as a former police officer, my background can sometimes reassure husbands that I will not badger them or gang up on them!
I consider myself a “marriage friendly therapist”, which means I am not neutral about your marriage. I believe most of the issues that result in divorce are solvable, and I’ll fight for your marriage until either one of you tells me to stop, at which time I will respect your decision. Marriage counseling requires that both spouses choose to work on the marriage. If you or your spouse is considering divorce, I offer a specialized form of counseling for this situation. Click here to learn more about Discernment Counseling.
I love this quote by author Elizabeth Gilbert. "...when I mention ‘tolerance’, I'm not talking about learning how to stomach pure awfulness. What I am talking about is learning how to accommodate your life as generously as possible around a basically decent human being who can sometimes be an unmitigated pain in the ass.”
I look forward to helping you become less of a pain in the ass and also helping you become more tolerant of the ways your spouse can be a pain in the ass as well!
Contact me today to begin your journey toward a fulfilling marriage!